Another Perfect Crime

This is the year-long story of writing a new song in APC land. It’s also about our friend Margaret. Because we are committed to being collaborative, our writing process is slower than other more decisive bands. However, it normally doesn’t last a year. In the case of the Margaret song, we were stuck. It was hard to communicate a vision or a feeling. We tried a few different paths. Ultimately, we were victorious because we collaborated with an external force: Margaret Fancypants (last name changed to protect the innocent).

First, a little about Margaret

I (Teresa) have known Margaret since college. I lived with her and Bjorn when I first moved to Seattle. She comes to most of our shows. She has long red hair, creates beautiful quilts out of old shirts and dresses, adores words and uses them wisely and creatively, works as a librarian, and is currently in pastry chef school. We used to get together weekly to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. When that series ended, we had a weekly documentary night. One day she walked home instead of taking the bus. A year later she walked across England. She deserves some time in the spotlight.

The Song

A year ago, I hummed a tune into my phone on an elevator. I had a vision for how it should sound. I wrote some lyrics about straight men and tried to jam on it with the band. To make a long story short, it never worked. Playing the tune differently, with distortion, without distortion, figuring out the underlying chords… it. just. didn’t. work. At that point, I was sick of singing a song about straight men. Although we love straight men, the exact subject matter made me vomit in my mouth.

18 Questions

I didn’t want to lose the tune, and I wanted to have fun playing the song. Having written plenty of songs about myself and my own perspective, I reached out for inspiration. I emailed Margaret a list of 18 questions and asked her to answer five of them. She answered seven. I’ve starred the ones she answered in the list below.

1. What charities or organizations have you donated to? Why did you choose that one?
2. Which relative in your extended family are you most similar to? What do you have in common? If he/she were asked the same question, would they say you are most similar to them?
3. *What is a recurring dream you have? What do you think it means?
4. Describe an encounter with a stranger while you were travelling. Do you still talk to that person? How often? What do you talk about?
5. *If you could give advice to your past self, what would it be? What age would you be?
6. What will you do when you retire?
7. When did you realize you were a grown up?
8. Describe your ideal party. (# people, setting, food/drink, type of clothing, conversation, activities)
9. *If you had to re-live one moment over and over again, what would it be? (brain candy question)
10. What is the most creative thing you have ever done? Who else was involved? When was it? What inspired you to do it?
11. Describe your favorite food or meal.
12. *What words do others use when describing you?
13. *What is your favorite zoo animal? Why do you like it?
14. *Where/when do you feel most normal?
15. What is the last adventure you went on?
16. *What is a tradition you like to practice every year? Who made up the tradition?
17. What is your least favorite word? Why?
18. Whom do you despise? Why?

Margaret’s responses

I won’t put all of them here, but I will include the relevant responses.

Verse 1: The recurring dream

Once every couple years (and it’s been a while since I had one) I dream that I go into my bedroom closet and there’s a ton of clothing in there that I don’t recognize, or had forgotten about. And there’s a lot of overlap- five of the same shirt in slightly different colors, or the same dress in three or four different sizes. Things I’ve never worn or couldn’t possibly wear, plus lots of stuff that I could if I had enough time. And I stand there flipping through the racks examining it all, trying to figure out what on earth to wear. It’s probably something about feeling overwhelmed in the face of the endless possibilities that life offers every day.

Verse 2: The annual tradition

OO! OO!  Is this question just for me? Do you already know what I’m'na say? I bet you can guess. It has something to do with a certain crazy dead guy. Yes, that’s right! John Belushi!

Every year in the middle of September I like to watch The Blues Brothers (aka “The perfect American movie”) with my buddy Bjorn and sing along to the music. He and I made up that tradition together. I’m thinking that this year we should embellish the tradition by making three orange whips and drinking them during the climactic scene where Cab Calloway dances around the stage in a white tuxedo while yodeling. Well, okay, it’s not exactly yodeling, but how else to describe it? The man had a singular and bizarre talent.

Bridge: When she feels normal

What a fascinating question. I put it to a friend and he and I had a great conversation about different definitions of the word “normal” and the various ways one might answer. Does normal mean “statistically common”? “Healthy”? “Comfortable”? “Typical”?  Does it describe a sense of belonging to a social group, or not belonging to social group? Both? Does it necessarily have a social component at all? (I could imagine someone saying, for example, that she feels most normal when meditating alone.) Anyway, in my case, ringing handbells satisfies several of the aforementioned criteria for “normal” so I’ll pick that. It’s something  where I share a near-universal human activity (making and enjoying music) with people who are both of a demographic-majority social group for my country, and the culture in which I was raised (namely white protestants).  And even if I don’t have a lot in common with those specific people in other ways, in that circumstance I’m “normal” for people who like ringing. And I’ve been doing it for much of my life, so it’s normal and comfortable for me on a personal level, and, I daresay, healthful.

Band Interview

After I received Margaret’s responses, I interviewed the band. “What do you think of when you think of Margaret?” Here are the responses:

Food, ice cream (She brought homemade ice cream to our practice once.), and cake. Loyalty, enthusiasm. Mittens. She has some really great mittens that we talked about for a long time. She’s so fucking cute. Brightens the mood of anything. She comes to all our shows. She likes us for real. Warm and whatever is the opposite of stand-offish. You don’t have to know her for very long to be comfortable with her. She’s very authentic to herself. She makes tasty treats but also not following the norms of anything. She never just makes chocolate chip cookies. They are chocolate chip pumpernickel pomegranate. With ingredients I would never think of. Very theatrical, but she’s not playing a role. Laughs a lot. Sometimes giggles.

Chorus

I struggled with the lyrics for the chorus. When the song is about an idea, a chorus is an opportunity to epitomize the message. Distilling down a person to one idea, especially someone I know so well, is damn near impossible.

When I was in San Francisco, I went to Humphry Slocombe for ice cream. Using Facebook check-in, I reported that I had Secret Breakfast (whiskey and cornflakes), Fluffernutter, and Salt & Pepper. Margaret replied, “My envy can only be expressed through a dance of rage.” There you have it. Margaret’s appreciation for the English language, her sense of humor, and her love for creative flavors was encapsulated in one phrase. Incidentally, it is a quote from the Marzipan Pig, a story and movie narrated by Tim Curry.

Song Style

This is where it got tricky. One thing we do as a band is sometimes listen to other bands’ songs in order to force ourselves out of our norms. I tried to find bands with a frenetic energy. Margaret often has a rapid-fire articulate speech pattern that is both humorous and engaging. While I wouldn’t describe Margaret as frenetic, that’s how I wanted the song to feel. I played a little Sicko and Marnie Stern for the band. I could imagine Margaret happily head-banging to both bands. And then it was born.

Final Lyrics

Verse 1
A pink shirt. A red one.
And a purple and a yellow and I cannot decide
And a new dress
In more than one size.
And maybe this is similar to my life where lots of pretty, shiny things dance and play
And all the possibilities might just overwhelm every day.

Pre Chorus
The gears are turning (x3). You’re breaking all the rules.
(By the way, this is in reference to the turning gears in her brain, as well as the blender that she so masterfully uses. Cream and sugar all the way.)

Chorus
I express my envy through a dance of rage.

Verse 2
A movie. September.
And we sit and sing along with glasses raised.
A sharp white tuxedo
And he dances and he yodels across the stage.
And maybe yodel isn’t the word but he has talent that is singular and bizarre
And when we give a toast, we’re honoring one dead crazy star

Bridge
(Criteria for normal)
It makes us happy to hear you laughing at our rock shows and
We like the way your mittens go so well with your cute clothes and
If you want to make us goodies, we will be your guinea pigs
Pumpernickel, pomegranate, dill and buckwheat and fresh figs
We will be yours!

Debut

Here is the video of the song’s debut. You can see Margaret at the beginning and end of it. Hugs and love to Margaret from APC.

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And the love is mutual.

Here at Another Perfect Crime HQ, we are constantly thinking of ways to take your money and infiltrate your daily lives. We started by embroidering dozens of pillow cases with our nancy drew logo.  Nothing says “in your face” like an APC logo on your cheek all night.

Next, we silkscreened APC underwear, but you didn’t get to see those. We ended up liking them too much, and kept them for ourselves. Again, nothing like an APC logo on your cheek all night. Our big sellers have been our embroidered boxers. So far, no one has sent us any pictures of themselves in them, and we can’t complain. This item is usually the first to sell out at our shows, and we have recently received a request for an order of them to be used as door prizes for a “No Pants Party.” We know some special people.

The latest craze in APC couture are our custom designed baby bibs. They’re fit for infants and toddlers alike, and are loved by boys, girls, and everyone in between. Twins especially love them, because the custom design helps their parents tell them apart. There is a foreseeable downside to all of this. The increase in online baby bib sales might correlate to a decline in attendance at our shows. I guess someone’s got to stay at home with the little poopers. So, while you’re at home instead of rockin’ out to us on the town,  pop in our CD,  put on your iTunes APC playlist, or crank up your APC Pandora Radio station, and airplane those smashed peas into your little bundle of joy.

Luckily for two of us in the band, there will be two more boys in our lives this April. Teresa and I are both expecting…. nephews, that is. They are due a few days apart (just like me and T… awwww). Here’s a picture of one of our most loyal fans (modeling last season’s APC silkscreen design), as she finishes cooking one of our future loyal fans in her oven:

If you have an appropriate picture of yourself or your offspring in APC garb, please send it our way: anotherperfectcrime@gmail.com. We’re working on a way to get our merch online, so stay tuned on all the new ways we’re coming up with to make it easier for you to buy. That’s what friends are for.

Also, for those who are waiting for a new supply of embroidered boxers, never fear! We are headed into the studio this week, and you know what that means… whoever isn’t tracking is embroidering. Oh, I guess that also means… new CD in the works. That’s just how we roll.

Keep on breeding,

ANOTHER
PERFECT
CRIME

Fine Print: All pictures have been shared with parental consent. Trust us, we know all about baby labor laws. The unborn baby also signed a waiver.

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We are thrilled to be joining other Rock Camp volunteers and their bands for an all-ages show on Saturday, November 13th at the SLAB to benefit Rain City Rock Camp for Girls and the Girls Rock Camp Alliance.

(We also love the show poster- designed by Holly Houser)

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Hi everybody. There’s so much to say about tour – what a crazy week! I’d love to talk about what amazing hilarious badass rock n roll BFFs these ladies are but I think Nat hit it on the head. So I’m gonna talk a little bit about the music, and mostly about just a couple of key moments.

Here’s the overview – on an 8-day trip, we didn’t play shows on the first or last day. That means we played shows for 6 consecutive nights. If that doesn’t strike a little fear into your heart, well, dear reader, we are just different people. Ponder for a second how many different ways could that go wrong? Broken/stolen gear, zero rehearsal time, vocal troubles, 1000 possible van-related tour-enders, and, I won’t speak for anybody else but my back’s only got so many gigs left in it. So, lots to worry about.

The show in San Francisco didn’t exactly assuage any fears of mine either! It was our first full day with the van, and I drove into the city in the dark, only realizing when we arrived that the headlights weren’t just dim, they were BROKEN. Holy crap. So we found the venue but no parking, drove it in reverse down half a block in – I want to be clear about this – *downtown* SF, parked it with the hazards on in the street, and loaded our stuff directly up to the venue on the second floor. I had just finished white-knuckling a couple hours of 10-15-mph-over-the-speed-limit driving without headlights, and now I have to do what? It was not our best show and I’d like to publicly take credit for a minimum of 1/3 of the iffiness. It left me a little nervous about the prospects for the rest of tour, because I knew we wouldn’t have any rehearsal time and we sure weren’t going to wind up any more rested than we were right then.

So – the Bratastrophe (see Nat’s post for the origins of the tour name) continued its way to Los Angeles the following day, to play the Silverlake Lounge. That, to me, was *the* show to get right – the amazing Becky Gebhardt had gotten us a show with three KILLER bands, and we’d have more people there than at any other in the trip. It was a do or die moment. So, picture us already pretty nervous, and then Becky’s band opened for us and absolutely laid it down. It was a hilarious and 100% rocking set by four musicians whose “day jobs” were other pro bands! It was intimidating, but also a really exciting challenge – here we were, on tour, in a killer venue, playing with killer bands, with all the music-loving folks (many in bands themselves), who come out to a show with great bands. Every show was important, every show was an opportunity, but this was special – these were the people we needed to connect with, network with, impress. Were we going to step it up?

The answer is yes. Fast-forward with me for a sec – we just played a show at the Crocodile here in Seattle, which was huge for us. I was nervous for sure, but it was nerves that felt like excitement. I was excited about the show at the Croc, and not panicking,  because I had cold, hard evidence from the show at the Silverlake Lounge that when the chips are down we don’t panic, and we don’t just get by. The show at the Croc was just like Silverlake – we weren’t fearless, and I’m glad we weren’t. We were kind of petrified for both, actually! But we took that fear and used it as energy.

We talked a lot about nerves, off and on during the trip, and I remember in particular Natalie talking about how her hands would get so shaky she couldn’t use them in the early shows. At Silverlake before the show, for a while she was pretty much only responding in these wacky sounds, like, “Mllehnnnngggguh…” because it was so nerve-wracking. I don’t think I’d ever seen her that nervous before a show! And then she turned it into r-o-c-k. I think we all did.

I have been to a bunch of shows, and I’ve seen a lot of bands play more than once. I’ve seen some good bands, and some bad bands, but I’ve never seen a band GET good. Seeing N, T & R play back in the day, I was nervous for them (just like I’m sure they felt for me in my band at the time too). Will they keep the songs together? Are their fingers gonna rattle off? Are they gonna get through everything? And, at some point I lost that feeling for APC, although I don’t remember when. But tour really made me recall the days when I was scared for them on a Tuesday at El Corazon, and how completely, 100%, night-and-day different it is now. What an unbelievable transformation – writing, playing, and performing. The work never really stops in a band -  booking shows, making posters, writing songs, keeping sharp individually and as a group. Tour was a ton of work too, but honestly it mostly felt like nothing but the payoff.

So, thanks to the venues (all of them!), thanks to Dan With A Van and all the other folks who helped make it happen, and an eternity of gratitude to Rebecca, Natalie and Teresa for being such amazing friends, badass rockers, and for having me on your tour.

Best.
Bratastrophe.
Ever.

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For me, there were so many highlights and adventures on tour, but the most substantial impact that it had on me was the joy I got from closeness and camaraderie within the band.

For starters, we gave David a crash course in being around girls (and we’re not even that girlie… ok, well maybe I am…) Another band member (who was going to remain anonymous, but she outed herself in her own blog post) and I both forgot to bring bras. “Why might that be bad?” David wondered. So, we got to explain to him the physics and mechanics of what happens when you wear the same bra for an entire week. He subsequently named the tour “Bratastrophy Tour.” David also got to learn about periods/tampons, what are “boyshorts,” men’s restrooms are WAY grosser, and he also learned to embroider, but I don’t think that should be gendered.

We made fun of Teresa for a good 4 days for her dislike of lettuce due to the “work to fullness ratio”. Apparently you have to work really hard to eat it, and then you’re not that full? After numerous lettuce recurring jokes, I remembered the story of a friend of mine who got really tired of being made fun of for years and years just for asking to eat fish and chips one night. So I stopped giving Teresa a hard time. But really… lettuce?? Plus, she wouldn’t let me bring “potato” as my desert island choice of vegetable during the desert island game , so I owe her a little for that.

I didn’t really make fun of Rebecca or give her a hard time, (did I, Rebecca?) although I did try to convince her to get a real tattoo, just out of spite for Sonny not responding to one of her texts about her fake tattoo. “That’ll sure show him,” I told her. Pretty sound advice, if you ask me.

Following is a day-by-day account of our trip, from my perspective:

Monday, Sept 13th

Teresa and I loaded up the van, and swung by Rebecca and David’s corporate job to head out on our journey. I was a little nervous about the van because it smelled funny and shook every time we went over 50 mph. Luckily, the van got better over the course of the tour- either that, or I just got more laid back. I’m hoping it was a little of both.  We stayed in Eugene and David and I barely slept since we were sharing a bed and were both deathly afraid of accidentally violating any social or personal boundaries.

Tuesday, Sept 14th

We inched our way to San Francisco, where we rolled up to the venue right at show time. What’s up, rock stars. The San Francisco show was a little rough around the edges… I totally forgot my part to 95% (one of the easiest and most played song of ours), and when we tried our new song, my mind went completely blank on the words. Teresa wrote some really great lyrics to this new song, full of amazing imagery and allegory and irony (you know, all those thingy-things you try to use in writing), and my mind just saw a blank page. David also sang some beautiful harmonies to “No Stars” using the word “watermelon”. There were a few cool things about that show, though. We got to warm up for our show at Silverlake Lounge the next night, and we got to suck a little in front of a seemingly tolerant crowd. Teresa added in some fascinating banter about a street performer shooting something out of their booty with a cigar or something (?) and an underwater puppet show? I’m not sure, but it was charming as hell. One of the guys from The Facekicks told me that he could really relate to the song “No Stars”, as he has a window in his apartment that has a view of the city sky. Wow… someone was actually listening to the words? And relating?

Wednesday, Sept 15th

It was a moment of solidarity for the entire band when we were driving from SF to LA, and an email from Eli at The Croc came through my phone. He was asking us to play a show!! We’ve never played at the Croc, and it’s sort of been a dream of ours forever (am I projecting MY dreams on the band? Yes). It’s the kind of dream you don’t really try for because it might just make you sad or waste your time (unless you’re writing to ask to open for Idlewild, which I did, and no, we’re not opening for them  ). The fact that we were all together when we got the email felt a little bit like the part in “That Thing You Do” when they get played on the radio for the first time and they run around hugging each other and turning on all the radios. Except we didn’t have a radio, and we’re not allowed to hug each other unless we’re not at band practice/doing band business. It’s an unspoken (and spoken) band rule.
We arrived in Echo Park, parked illegally, ate avocados, got a ticket, and hung out with the famous Becky Gebhardt . The order is a little fuzzy, I know. We made our way to Silverlake Lounge and we felt really cool. I mean- I didn’t- but I could tell everyone else did. Suckers. Becky Gebhardt now plays in a rock band. They were really good. They were supposed to be all “careless” and “raucous”, but they were frickin’ tighter than we’ll ever be. It was probably the best night of music we have ever taken part in. Praise the lord we stepped it up, because I am not even kidding you, these bands tore our faces off… literally. Wait. Not literally. But you know, for real, yo. My friend Garth came to the show and took hundreds of amazing photos. Oh- and I got to play out of Becky’s amp and I sounded good. We got to meet Jenn’s friend “Jobby Job” and he brought us a delicious guava cream cheese pastry. That’s rock n’ roll, folks.

Thursday, Sept 16th

Today we had a little bit of time off, Teresa and Rebecca visited with friends, while David and I got to have an amazing breakfast prepared by Becky Gebhardt. Teresa joined us again later for an epic game of “Sentence Picture Sentence Picture Sentence”. The rules of the game are simple. First person writes a sentence. The next person draws a picture of that sentence, and the next person writes a sentence off of that picture (not being able to see the sentence prior) …. the most Important part being that you cannot see anything anyone else has drawn or written besides the one right before yours. It’s like “telephone” with drawings. This one has to be my favorite, but I had to edit it slightly in case any of our impressionable fans end up reading this.

At night, we played an acoustic set at KUCI, and got to spin tracks from all of our favorite local bands: Danielli, Elba, Ghost Lobby, The Sound of Speed, The Quit, Buzzing Silence (Rain City Rock Camp band), Cober, She’s Your Sister (not local, but Jenn Johnson is). We also played a lot of us. Later, we took our charming DJ, Rita, out to a night of debauchery (otherwise known as a pleasant dinner with 80’s Muzak). David tried to order a “garden” burger in Orange County, but was appropriately corrected that it was a “gardeeen burger.” Duh.

What can I say? Los Angeles, I love you. I have judged you unfairly in the past. But don’t take it too personally. I also judged Radiohead, Led Zeppelin, expensive shampoo, and avocados, and I ended up coming around to loving those things eventually as well.

Friday, Sept 17th

Drive, drive, drive, drive. Teresa made us see a fish house, and we’ll never regret it. We stayed with Craig, Teresa’s brother, and had fun with the genetics game. We went to Martin’s loft in Oakland to play a show for his handpicked crowd of intellectuals. He was awesome. It was HIS birthday, yet he made US feel special. He bought us Thai food and made people give us money and stuff. My kind of guy. We played to an attentive crowd that was snuggling body pillows (and bodies), and got to sing through cordless mics. I’d like to have body pillows and cordless mics at every show from here on out. Craig’s band McPuzo and Trotsky played, and sang all sorts of clever innuendos and dressed up as grasshoppers halfway through the set. Sounds like something the sibling of Teresa might do.
The next morning Craig and Jane took us to delicious breakfast and I had a burrito that I am still dreaming about. Some people were really mean to me and Rebecca, but I still think Berkeley is nice. Luckily I don’t hold a grudge or anything.

Saturday, Sept 18th
We trekked up north to the resort town of Ashland, OR and tried to find people dressed up in Shakespearean outfits. No such luck. We pulled in to the Caldera Taphouse, scarfed our comped meal, and set up our sound for the night. David played a beautiful opening set for us. Teresa, Rebecca and I cried into our free beers at the gorgeous sounds coming from the stage.

We pretty much played to no one, except for a baby boom biker couple, but I loved it. Apparently we did have one audience member who came down later on because she received a text “You’ve gotta come down here, the band is awesome.” The crowd may have been sparse, but they seemed to appreciate us. We only had one mic and one mic stand, so the entire night was like a choreographed dance around the mic- swinging and swaying in and out of the way of the next vocalist. It was FUN. Maybe just for me, though. It added a level of athleticism that I’ve been missing out on since living the rock n’ roll lifestyle. Yes people, that was my workout for the week. By the end of the night, after one too many tastes off the tap at Caldera Taphouse, I got it in my head that it would be brilliant to call our next record, “Don’t Spoon with Strangers.” Hmmm… I think I’ll just set that one aside for a rainy day. But it’s pretty sound advice, nevertheless.

Sunday, Sept 19th

Today we played in Portland, and for being the city that all of us are enamored with (and supposedly know people there?), we had quite a bit of trouble finding a place to stay and finding bands to play with. We had the fortune of playing with Leslie’s newest incarnation: Lather, Rise Repeat. She is my bass sister, and it was so awesome to see how her basslines have taken on a life of their own. I’m pretty sure we killed that show. Even if we didn’t, I’m choosing to remember that we freakin’ killed it. It was the last night on the road, and everything just flowed under our fingers like butter and the dynamics took on new dimensions. You weren’t there, so how would you know? Just trust that it was epic. I know that word gets overused in music writing and describing, but you know what? That’s the word.

Monday, Sept 20th

We treated ourselves to breakfast at Bijous with some of our remaining earnings from tour. We stopped by our old stomping grounds, Rock n’ Roll Camp for Girls, to donate the remaining CDs from our tour to their Ladies Rock Camp. We owe them for all that we are. I stumbled my way around a conversation with sts, then we made an imperative stop at MLK Fashion Plaza. Teresa and David had fun with tutus and undergarments with bling.

When it’s all said and done, I think the entire trip is best summed up by this Mad Lib that Teresa created for us that we all did together during the last stretch on I-5:  (if you click on the image it’s easier to read)

Thank you to my band. I love you. Thank you for amusing me and my crazy ideas, and for making my dreams come true.

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• There’s nothing like getting picked up outside your corporate software job by a very punk rock astrovan to make you feel like the rock and roll rebel you aren’t.
• While on tour you will not, I repeat not, read a book on Design Patterns.  Nor will you crack the new Jonathan Franzen.  Save some room in the van and leave the books at home.
• My sister in law’s version of a trashed house looks like my place on a good day.
• I snore.  OK, I already knew that.  Now my bandmates do too.
• It’s a long drive from Eugene to San Francisco.  But fortunately, Californians are pretty casual about load in time.
• My brother has the sweetest friends on earth.
• I’ve been far too picky about bra shopping.  Forgetting to pack spares, the 15 minute panicked dash into Target worked out just as well as those tortured afternoons in the fitting room at Nordstroms.  Who knew.
• Drummers in LA are really lucky – they can get to lessons with Ivo without buying a plane ticket first.  Seattle lost out.  Again.
• Hanging out with professional musicians in L.A. is just as fun and glamourous as you thought it was going to be.  Oh hello Allison from Bratmobile, I thought you looked familiar.  Wherever did you find those sunglasses?
• I’m still not over my first band.  Jen and Katie – Foxforce 5 summer tour 2011, whaddaya say?
• I need a spare iPhone battery.  With no way to charge in the van, power was a precious commodity.  The phones were the first things we plugged in when we hit the stage.  Fortunately we brought a power strip -  if we’d run out of outlet space, I don’t know what would have happened – it’s entirely possible we’d have picked the phones over the amplifiers and performed accapella.
• Tour is a strange beast.  All these friends come out who you haven’t seen in ages, and you’re too busy to properly hang out.   But it means a lot that they were there.
• I’m right about a lot of things.  As I predicted, Larissa and Brian’s new daughter is pretty much the most beautiful newborn in the history of the world.  And thanks for bringing her into the world a couple days early so I could meet her right away, you guys.  Appreciate it.
• KUCI is an excellent radio station full of incredibly friendly and supportive staff.  You should tune in to Rita Thursdays 8-10 at http://www.kuci.uci.edu/.
• Our peeps in Seattle rock – we had so many tune in and listen to us streaming live over the internet.  It warmed our hearts.
• Teresa has some serious parking-fu.  That woman knows how to handle a van.
• You think the fish house in Berkeley is going to be pretty lame.  But you are wrong.  The fish house is amazing.
• OK Teresa’s brother also has the sweetest friends on earth.
• Technology is boring even to technology people.  I guess I kind of knew this too, but turns out when you’re wired after a rock show, having a conversation about software development  will work just as well as that Ambien prescription to get you to sleep.
• If you are going on tour, tell EVERYONE you know EXACTLY where you are going.  Turns out one of our friends is the former queen of the Ashland Oregon punk rock scene.  Not only does she have some hilarious and amazing stories to tell, she probably could have helped us drum up a much bigger audience for our small town gig.  Guess we’re going back.
• Bring your own mics, stands, and cables.  We’d learned this lesson before.  We learned it again.  Fortunately our 3 singers are comfortable snuggling up around a single mic.   And they look mighty cute doing it.
• Even a short tour will be enough to seriously tighten up your set.   We totally killed it our last show of the tour,  if I do say so myself.
• Portland is the unrequited love of my life. Why don’t I live there again?

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Why should I go on tour, anyway? When Bon Jovi did it, they rode a steel horse and hot tubbed with the ladeez after thousands of fans screamed for them. When I told people my band was going on a west coast tour, my inner third grader imagined us gracing stage after stage with fans that crawled out of the woodwork. Instead, really close friends that I haven’t seen in 17 years marked their calendars two months prior to come see me and have 15 minutes of conversation on a school night. (Thanks, Amy, Adrienne, Corrine, April B, Job.) Then, they kindly sat and listened to the music I’ve been creating for the past four years.

I still have a bit of an existential dilemma over what tour is about. On a selfish note, it’s about performing with my band six nights in a row, becoming more connected and solid with each performance. On selfish note part B, it’s about seeing old school friends and meeting new musician friends and subjecting them to my art. It’s hard not to be selfish as a musician. We practice a lot so that we don’t make asses of ourselves on stage. We improve so that we can book better shows. As a guitarist, I’m literally staring at my navel.

However, on a more selfless note, tour is about developing a music community that goes beyond my hometown of Seattle, AKA, finding out who cares. For example, Ed from Apache Trail, and his wife Celia, offered us a place to crash after our Portland show, based only on a mutual friend from high school. Marty from San Francisco hosted us for his birthday, and did a beautiful “ask” before passing the hat. Becky put together an amazing bill in Los Angeles. We can only hope to return the favor by hosting them in our city.

Natalie, David, and Rebecca are better at describing music. I’ll leave that to them. My blog is going to be about the people I met, unofficial members of the music community in my mind.

Monday, September 13: Leaving Seattle

Music community members #1: Daniel and Lark Preyapongpisan

I met Dan through his wife, Lark. She is a book artist, and 100% DIY. For example, when they got married, she grew the flowers, sewed her wedding dress, and cooked food for 200+ people – with nary a hint of Bridezilla. Dan is a drummer, and for a moment in history, we jammed with my friend Bjorn and were called “The Redheaded Sweeties.”

Dan lent us his van for tour. He installed speakers, a new battery, and other mysterious mechanical parts. Dan and Lark handed me the keys and a box of delicious homemade cookies on Sunday night, with wishes for a good tour. It made Dan happy to donate the van to a touring band. We paid him a small sum, and the van ran smoothly to LA and back. Natalie and I picked up Rebecca and David from work on Monday night, and the conversation went something like this:

Nat and Teresa: Hello bandmates! Welcome to tour.

Rebecca: Oh my god. This is a touring van.

David: I didn’t really realize that I was going on tour until this moment. Now that I’m in the van and my stuff is in the back, I think it’s really real.

Or something less eloquent than that.

Tuesday, September 14: Eugene to San Francisco

Musical community member #2: Aaron Sullivan, Eugene

We stayed with Rebecca’s family in Eugene on Monday night, a stopping point before our first show in San Francisco. We went to the Sweet Life for breakfast. I asked the barista to fill my thermos with hot water. I felt a little rude asking for a favor, and explained that we were on a road trip.

Barista: Where are you going?

Teresa: We’re in a band and on tour.

Barista: Did you play in Eugene?

Teresa: No, no one would take us.

Barista: Well, I host shows in my warehouse. Send me an email and I’ll see if I can get you a show next time you’re in town.

We gave him a sticker with our website, and took his email. After some cyberstalking, I think his name is Aaron Sullivan.

At the van

Rebecca: Did you just get us a show in Eugene?

Teresa: Yes.

David: Did you just pull an MBA back there?

Teresa: Yes.

Thank you, MBA. Although I do not yet have a six figure salary at an overestimated high tech company in Seattle, I do have a show in Eugene that will further my expensive hobby.

Later that day…

Music community members #3: Jamie Freedman and Elisabeth Rene (Leopard Print Tank Top)

We pulled into Kimo’s Bar in San Francisco at 9:05 pm, approximately -5 minutes before the show started. Fortunately, Leopard Print Tank Top postponed their start time so that we could load in. Leopard Print Tank Top (I can’t stop typing that fabulous band name) involved a ukulele, a bass, a keyboard, and lyrics so funny I’m not allowed to sing them in Another Perfect Crime. (We are, after all, a serious band.) I can’t give any specifics, but the songs were about Jewish heritage and cats. Their outfits were satin, and they were unfortunately missing their belly dancer that night.

Jamie is a volunteer for the girls rock camp in San Francisco. For those of you who don’t know anything about my band, and I can’t imagine anyone who doesn’t know this fact would read this far into the blog, Natalie is a co-founder of the Seattle chapter of the girls rock camp. Although we have almost nothing in common with LPTT musically, we appreciated one another’s performances and planned for future shows.  We stayed at my brother’s place in Berkeley. More on him later.

Wednesday, September 15: SF to LA

Music community member #4: Becky Gebhardt and the merry band of rock camp counselors

My girlfriend adores Becky Gebhardt. I get it now. When our original LA host contracted a virus and suggested we stay elsewhere, Becky threw open her doors, supplemented our truck tacos with avocado, played Paper Telephone with us, and gave us four places to sleep in her medium sized LA apartment. Now I adore Becky Gebhardt as well, probably almost as much as my girlfriend does.

Becky is also a volunteer for girls rock camp – but in LA. In fact, she probably runs the place. Her full time job is playing bass in Raining Jane, a beautiful folk/rock/world-like band that tours nationally for realz. Like, with ladeez in hot tubs and… you know, money. She now has a side project called (Something Somebody and his) Bountiful Hearts which, to my novice ears, sounds like classic rock with a David Bowie influence. Before I offend her further, you can read my bandmates’ blogs to find out what her band really sounds like.

Anyhooters, we played with Bountiful Hearts, Ingenue, and EZ Tiger at Silverlake Lounge on Wednesday night. The crowd was packed, and 75% women (if not more), strongly represented by Girls Rock LA volunteers. All the bands were REALLY GOOD. Like, I want to host them in Seattle so badly it makes my loins ache a little bit. All of the bands had at least one member who volunteered at the rock camp. Hello, community.

Becky and my girlfriend Jenn have plans of developing a network for touring bands through the Girls Rock Camp Alliance (GRCA). Right now, touring bands need to borrow a van and lug drum kits and amps. However, bands in the alliance could set up shows and lend equipment to touring bands – allowing us to travel in our fuel-efficient hybrid sedans instead of a large van. Great idea, right? Rebecca’s talking about writing code for the website to keep track of equipment, bands, and calendars. But before that step, let it be known that we will host any of those bands in our home town.

Thursday, September 16: LA to Irvine

Music community member #5: Rita Gennawey, KUCI Radio Show host

Music community members #6: Jenn, Andi, Len, Margaret, and Chad

This was one of our favorite days, mostly because we did not have to get in the van and drive… very far. I went to breakfast for three hours with my college friend and cinematic costumer, Corrine. Rebecca stayed with the drummer from her college band and subsequently visited her newborn goddaughter, and Natalie and David enjoyed a fabulous feast made by Becky Gebhardt while looking out the window at hummingbirds, flowers, and succulents.

Natalie and David selected a few songs for us to turn into acoustic masterpieces, and we rehearsed them in Becky Gebhardt’s sunny apartment until it was time to go. We ripped Rebecca away from a newborn child down in Irvine, and headed to the radio station. KUCI is in a trailer in UC Irvine’s campus. Rita met us in the parking lot, and I thought she was awfully cute, probably because she looked a lot like, well, me.

Rita played some songs, we played some songs, we played the songs of some of our friend bands. Whatever. Details. Our friends gave us feedback via Facebook throughout the show. I’m starting to love social media.

Margaret: I am listening right now and Rita announced you! *excited*

Len: The band sounds great!

Chad: I caught the end of it (are they done?!) and it was sweet!

Andi: APC, that rocked, and you rock!! That was truly da hunchback!!

Jenn: ‎Interview starts at 23:23, APC album tracks start at 24:00, live set starts at 48:00, DJ set throughout. OH! and buzzing silence (rain city rock camp band) starts at 1:30!

We went out to dinner with Rita. Rita is one of those people who does nothing half-assed. She hosts the radio show on top of her regular FT job. She doesn’t play music, but is a collector and connoisseur of it. She supports and promotes bands. Honestly, I felt kind of music-dumb around Rita. I shop for music the way I shop for clothes: if it doesn’t catch my eye/ear, I’m not going to spend time on it. This is why I obsess about Marnie Stern, Sleater-Kinney, and the xx – and have no idea what Supergrass, Lady Gaga, and whoever-your-favorite-band-is sounds like. I’m ADHD and only listen to about three bands. Rita, however, listens to the CDs that get mailed to her. STACKS of CDs. Go, Rita.

Friday, September 16: LA to SF

Music community member #7: Martin Azevedo

Music community members #8: Craig Demel and Paul Anderson (McPuzo and Trotzky)

My brother plays in a band called McPuzo and Trotzky. They’re retro-political and funny. Specifically, they are two men from 1921 singing humorous pieces such as “Dam America,” and “Suffrage is for Suckers.” When booking the tour, I asked Craig if he wanted to play a show together, knowing it might be my only chance.

Enter Martin. He hosts musical emergencies a few times a year. He selects a story (Jack and the Beanstalk, Star Wars), breaks the story into about 20 parts, and assigns them to musicians two weeks before the “emergency.” The night of the party, people show up, perform their original song, and eat food. It’s a fantastic concept, and Martin is the quintessential music community member. In fact, he asked me how we did Ladies Rock Camp, because he wants to create a version of it for his own friends.

Martin lives in a loft in Oakland, and offered to host our sibling show. We were greeted by the softest, fuzziest purple door, mannequins, cigarette machines, a saw table used as a coffee table, and a bicycle hanging from the ceiling. He fed us delicious Thai food and wine before taking the stage. McPuzo and Trotzky were the opener. Lots of puns – none of which I can remember, old stylie tunes, and the highest density of filthy double entendres I’ve ever encountered in a set. Needless to say, I’m proud of my brother (McPuzo) and his partner-in-crime, Paul (Trotzky). Especially since Craig arrived in town from Spain the night prior and was jet lagged.

We played our set, fearing it was too loud, but playing it anyway. Martin told us we were the coolest band ever to perform in his home. McPuzo and Trotzky “made a sandwich with us,” playing half a set before us, and half a set after us. Their friends lounged on the floor on pillows (supplied from Martin’s pillow bureau). It was the most intimate show we have ever played. It felt magical.

Craig improvised on “For You,” a song from our first EP, with his Stroh violin. It brought tears to my eyes. Momma and Daddy woulda been proud.

Saturday, September 18: SF to Ashland

Music community member #X: That nice couple from Ashland, those boys who had a crush on Natalie

This one almost doesn’t count. We played a show at Caldera Taphouse in Ashland on Saturday night. Honestly, it was the loneliest and longest show. A couple listened to most of our set and bought a CD. A group of guys stayed for about 30 minutes. Another group of guys stayed toward the end and offered us a place to stay and a drink. (They were 21. We said “no” using a long, drawn-out passive aggressive technique, with regional influences from Georgia, Ohio, DC, and Denver.) The whole situation begged the question, “Should we play anyway?” since it probably cost more money to stay in a hotel than we made up for in food. The food was good. The beer was good. It broke up the drive. We improvised with one microphone for two hours. The end.

Sunday, September 19: Ashland to Portland

Music community member #9: Sheryl Lanham, Andi Puzl’s friend

Music community members #10: Leslie and Jonny Yeargers, Teri Quagliano (Lather, Rinse and Repeat)

Music community member #11: Ed (and Celia) from Apache Trail

Finding a place to stay in Portland was, ironically, one of the biggest challenges. A friend of mine offered me a place to stay, but couldn’t take the full band. A friend of a friend offered us a place, but she had cats and cats hurt me. As a compromise, I went back to the original friend, and learned that she needed to get laid instead of host me. Yes. That’s what I said.

Sheryl to the rescue. She just moved to Portland from Seattle. Like, JUST moved. That day. We slept on her four couches. “A friend of Andi’s is a friend of mine,” she said. Sheryl is a drummer. Kudos to Sheryl.

The first time we played in Portland, we were AWFUL. Our bodies were shaking, we cursed in front of small children, and it may have ruined our reputation in Portland. However, Leslie Yeargers has remained supportive. She now plays with her husband Jonny and fellow rock camp volunteer, Teri. We love these people. They are kind, they love music, and they encourage their kids to love music. Every time I see Leslie play, her bass lines become more and more inventive and interesting. I think that’s a huge part of the girls rock camp philosophy – is that the learning is as exciting as the end result. Lather, Rinse and Repeat has some great songs. It was their first show playing out, and I can’t wait to play with them in the future.

Joe-the-booker asked me to get four bands together. Not being from Portland, it was a bit of a stretch. I did a Facebook call, and my friend from high school, Alicia Robinson, referred me to Ed, the guitarist for Apache Trail. They ROCKED it. Good lord, my ears were burning and my body was convulsing. Ed and his wife Celia offered us a place to stay. We were already settled at Sheryl’s, but appreciated the gesture. They referred us to the best pancakes in Portland, and we went to bed at 3am.

There you have it. We don’t have thousands of adoring fans, and I don’t ever expect we will. However, we met and played with some wonderful people, and hope we can give them the same treatment when they come to Seattle.

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Reel Grrls is an organization that empowers girls through media production. This spring break, they taught 12 young women from Seattle to make four music videos, each from a female band in Seattle. The result is posted on the Music page in our website.

Unfortunately, the screening was on a Friday at 3:30pm, and I (Teresa) was the only band member who could attend. Even then, I arrived late and watched it on the laptop in the theater. I met Summer, one of the designers. After learning how to make a video, she and her colleague, Niaylah, had about 2.5 days to put it together, including animation, filming, and editing. It was amazing to see someone’s interpretation of our music. It’s like having someone dress you up, and looking in the mirror and realizing you’re kind of cute. It brought tears to our eyes when we saw it.

I asked Summer about her thought process during the making of the video. The moment she opened her mouth, I could tell that she was mature and thoughtful. She is going to go far in life. She said they didn’t want the video to be of a certain person, which is why they chose to only show a pair of Converse shoes, walking around Seattle, disobeying the rules. (A personal favorite is when she walks on the couch with her shoes on. I can hear my father yelling right now.) We joke that it’s a video about Rebecca, our drummer, who has been wearing Converse since high school and describes herself as surly when she was a teenager. I also like the touch of being “erased,” as the character moves backward through the scenes.

Thanks to Reel Grrls for providing a space where young women can be artistic, express themselves, and learn the technical side of filmmaking. Special thanks to Summer Matthews and Niaylah King for the beautiful work they did the week of March 29, 2010.

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I saw Love of Diagrams from Australia at the Sunset Tavern last night and they were awesome. There weren’t nearly enough people there so you probably missed it – check them out here:

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